There is no better time than January, when the mind plays with what is to come. The first tests are just around the corner, and then everything will start in earnest, with the races. Changes of bikes, riders seeking confirmation or redemption, anything can happen from the first GP to the last. Some things, however, never change, such as rider declarations. In times of political correctness, there are some things that never go out of fashion and must be interpreted. To help you, we have prepared a very unserious vademecum for this 2025.
"It's going to be a long race" - Needless to say that a Grand Prix is run approximately always over the same distance: if the track is short more laps are run, if long less. In the end the mileage count is similar. Each rider reverses this simple arithmetic calculation: if the track is long then the race is long, if you do more laps then the race is long. On each of these declarations a mathematician dies.
"I will do my best" - No shit, Batman! Usually this declaration is given to press releases sent before a GP, emails that go from the inbox to the trash without even going through the start. No one can explain how this short sentence can have the slightest use. Perhaps there is someone who thinks that riders go to the circuit on vacation? Or that they are paid to finish last? Redundancy in communication is not always a virtue.
"I suffer from chattering" - Every time a rider utters this phrase, Max Biaggi receives one euro from SIAE (Italian copyright organization, ed.). Before him, chattering did not exist, but it is the egg of Columbus: it is good for all occasions and no one can contradict you. By its very definition, chattering is such if it is there but cannot be seen. It is the link between science and faith. And no one knows what it means.
"My pace with used tires is good" - The declaration has to be made if the result in qualifying was bad and the rider was overtaken in the corners even by an overweight photographer driving a burnt-out 50 cc scooter on the service road. It works because it plays on laziness: who is ever going to go look at the timesheets to prove that the person who uttered it was wrong? Then, the next day, after the race is over, no one will remember it and they will all live happy ever after, happily and slowly.
"There is respect between us" - Classic comment between two opponents. In truth they would rather go to dinner with a platoon of mothers-in-law than together, but respect saves the facade. The phrase sounds a bit like a '90s rapper, it would work better if he put his baseball cap on backwards and wore baggy pants, but no one (for the moment) has dared to go that far.
"There is something wrong with the tire" - This is more of an understatement than a lie. The correct translation would be, "the tire sucks, I wouldn't even use it for a swing." The rider here has his attenuating circumstances, because if he overdoes his words he risks being vulcanized by the tire supplier. However, it also works as an excuse when chattering is not enough (see above).
"In the tests we were very fast" - It should be declared only when the tests were held behind closed doors and without timing. In those cases, the rider is able to bend the time-space continuum to his liking, even managing to set times with negative numbers. Then, on race weekend, he is last, but you can imagine the satisfaction.
"With these times, last year I would have been on the podium/would have won" - Too bad no one has invented the time machine yet, otherwise you know how many cups there would be on every racer's shelf. Don't tell anyone, but times are not retroactive.
"With my ideal time I would be in pole position" - Proof that the ideal world does not exist, otherwise we would all be beautiful and billionaires. And in pole position. The ideal time is the sum of the best times in the various sectors of the track, practically a utopia. It serves no purpose whatsoever except to justify one's own poor performance.
"We have/we are/we race" - The fashion in recent years is the plural maiestatis. It is not known who is the author of this, but now all the riders talk like sovereigns and some would even like to have a throne installed in the box. Motorcycle racing is an individual sport, but only until you are in front of a microphone.
"I'm not thinking about the championship" - Good old de Coubertin would be proud: everyone on the track is just there to participate. After all, the championship is always long (as are the races) and no one thinks about winning it. It also applies as an excuse when one crashes.
"I don't know why I crashed" - The sentence can be enhanced with "I didn't do anything different from the lap before, in fact I was going slower." The mistake is 99.9 percent of the time the fault of bad luck, that damn gravity that exists only to shatter the dreams of every rider. Or maybe it was the fault of a tearoff, which is nothing but the motorcycle version of the banana peel. Then, even if you want to investigate, who ever can read telemetry?
"I told you so" - For par condicio, let's also insert one of the favorite phrases of journalists, pundits and assorted managers. Here we rely on the law of large numbers: by dint of spouting bullshit, sooner or later you'll step in it. You just need a good memory to remember when you said the right thing.