Carlo Pernat can't even rest during the holidays. Santa Claus asked him to deliver gifts to the MotoGP paddock, and the manager from Genoa took his job seriously. Of course, he did it in his own way, wrapping every gift with an abundant dose of irony.
The Christmas spirit has made Pernat a bit nicer, but nobody is immune to his needling. Last week, he sent his first gifts to the manufacturers, now it's time for the riders. Starting with the foreigners, and ending with the Italians.
Marc Marquez has everything, all he needs is a sedative"
“Marc already has everything, but we could give him a sedative so that he can fall less and not need surgery again. But he'd have to take it a bit at a time, so that he'll still be able to win many titles. He's talented, he's fast. In short, he has everything, but he has to take less risks."
"To Alex Marquez, a photo of his brother... hoping he won't tear it in half"
“I'd put a picture of his brother under Alex's tree and give him an appointment with Marc at the end of next year. At that moment, he'll be able to tell if he gave him just any old gift or a real gift. His brother may be the deciding element in Alex's career, and he's running the risk of getting burned. For now, he'll get a photo. We'll see if in a few months it'll still be whole or torn in two."
"A fire red Ducati for Vinales"
“The perfect gift for Vinales is a beautiful red Ducati, with Gigi Dall'Igna at his side smiling at him and who, like Uncle Sam, is aiming to bring him along. Maverick could be number 1 on that team. I don't see him needing other gifts, except for a system in his brain that would turn on when Maverick gets flustered, but it's a device that has yet to be invented. Electronics are only on bikes, not in the heads of riders'."
A full makeover for Rins, inside and out"
“I'd give Rins a voucher for the hairdresser's, to cut off all that hair and give him a treatment for his head too. He needs to be a bit safer, so also a manicure and pedicure would help, which would make him take off better in tests and not just be a racing animal. A complete makeover, inside and out."
"Quartararo has already received a smile and shouldn't lose it."
“I'd give Quartararo a smile, the one he's always had and which he must never lose. Santa Claus has already given him this gift for the first time this year, and he has to continue to race and have fun. Fabio is a champion. I'd also like a special photo for him, with a sled and a nice Yamaha among the packages, of course."
“Miller, a place on the official Ducati team and several crates of beer"
“This is the year of photos, so when Miller opens his gift, he'll find an image of himself and Dovizioso together on the official Ducati team, with Dall'Igna looking at them from above, as if he were God. I'd also put a couple of beer crates under Jack's tree, what he'll need to celebrate after a victory."
"For Crutchlow, he had a spot on the official Honda team, but the Grinch had a say in it"
“It'll probably be Crutchlow's last year in the MotoGP. I would have given him his place on the official team alongside Marc Marquez. Santa Claus did his best, but to no avail. The Grinch probably had a say in it. So, I'd gift Cal with a lot of happiness. He's like Medusa, the mythological being, and I hope that those snakes he has on his head will stop twisting and turning a bit."
"The perfect gift for Zarco: a dart game with a photo of his former manager"
“I'd give Zarco a dart game with a photo of his former manager on it, so he can let off a bit of steam. It's not much, but it wouldn't hurt. I know it's not a great gift, but it'll make him understand the mistake he made."
"A beautiful mosaic for Lorenzo, as a reflection of himself"
"Lorenzo deserves a nice gift. A huge, colorful mosaic with an inscription: "This is you, a beautiful mosaic." I'd put another identical one next to it, but one where all he needs to do is remove a tile for it to crumble to pieces. A gift on which he could reflect. This is Jorge's tale, and just what Santa will be giving him."