What would Christmas be without a gift under the tree? Although manufacturers and MotoGP riders do not shy away from this rule, with the upcoming holidays, one must not be caught unprepared. Unfortunately, Santa Claus is very busy right now, so he asked our Carlo Pernat for help.
Our good old manager knows the paddock and its protagonists like his pockets and knows what they would like to find when it comes to opening presents. So he made his list... with a healthy dose of irony, of course.
He started with gifts to the manufacturers, then the riders.
""A clone of Dall'Igna for a missle-like Ducati"
“Ducati already has its own Santa Claus: Gigi Dall'Igna, since he knows how to satisfy those who work with him. So I'd cloned him because the Ducati would really become a missile with 2 Dall'Ignas."
"For Honda, a statue of Marquez to hold up the World Championship tree"
"I'd like to give Honda a statue of Marc Marquez, big as a colossus, and I'd put it next to their tree. Their pine tree has lots of balls that represent the World Championships won, but they have to remember that it has to lean up against Marc's statue. So it has to be resistant and last for years, otherwise, the tree might sway dangerously. They must always remember that the statue supports the tree."
"Horsepower for Yamaha, or rather, barge haulers to pull it without ruining the balance"
“I would give Yamaha some great horsepower, not for towing but for their engine, because that's indispensable for winning the World Championship. The M1, however, will never be a motorcycle like the Ducati, so a few barge haulers would be enough, since the bike must remain balanced. Sometimes, you really need barge haulers, especially uphill when you have something heavy to pull because they take one step at a time, while horses risk toppling over."
"Suzuki needs a Rins with his thinking cap always on"
“Once upon a time, I would have brought Suzuki some horsepower, but now they have a competitive bike. So I 'd give them Rins' head with his thinking cap always on because he needs riders right now. Maybe I'd even cut off some of Alex's curls. They're anti-aerodynamic and make him slow down. We should find Rins' head from the end of 2018, hibernate it, and use it in the race."
"A photo of the old guard and a new bike to ride for Aprilia"
"I'd put a picture of Beggio, Witteveen, Scomazzon, and Pernat under Aprilia's tree, so they can look at it and think about why those four did things that not everyone is able to accomplish. Maybe, if they think back in history, they'll find some inspiration. I also have another gift, since Romano Albesiano can spend some time at home now: a entirely new, competitive bike made with lots of tiny Lego pieces, maybe even with a sponsor on the fairings. So they'd have past and future, but then we'll have to see if these two gifts could join together or not. It's going to be an important Christmas for Aprilia, perhaps the most important."
"Two riders for KTM... but they'll have to dish out the money"
"I'd give KTM some riders but, at the moment, there aren't any around. So, they'll find two big packages with a question mark on each, and they'll have to find the faces to replace them next year. I'd like to give them Marquez's and Vinales' faces but, to do so, you can't just wish it. They'll need money and they'll have to dish it out themselves."